


A New Chapter in the Book of Friendship

by Schattengestalt



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, House Being House, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Panic Attacks, Trans Male Character, Transphobia, transphobic language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-16 22:46:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14820354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schattengestalt/pseuds/Schattengestalt
Summary: When House realizes that Wilson keeps a secret from him, he goes to great lengths to figure out what his best friend is hiding.





	1. Curiosity killed the Cat

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is my first House M.D. fiction and I am curious how you will like it. It has one more chapter which I hope to post in the next couple of weeks.

### Curiosity killed the Cat

"What are you hiding from me?"

 

Wilson rolled his eyes as House barged into his office but he didn't rise to the bait. Instead Wilson calmly reached for the next file of - no doubt - yet another dying cancer patient.

 

Impressive, House admitted to himself as he closed the door quietly behind him after his grand entrance hadn't gotten him the desired reaction. Wilson was probably the only one in the whole hospital who had gotten somewhat immune to House's antics. Nowadays he only protested against House's unannounced visits if he was with a patient. Not even Cuddy managed to stay this calm when faced with one of his requests.

 

Of course House mused as he lolled in the visitor chair and tapped his cane against his good leg this made it even more challenging to annoy his friend. And if House loved something more than a fascinating case and soap operas then it was a good challenge. The only thing he could admit to loving more than an intriguing puzzle was Wilson himself. The man who was too damn busy with his boring bald kids as to even acknowledge House's presence. For a second House contemplated throwing the pile of files onto the floor - just to get a rise out of Wilson - but then he thought better of it. After all House had a secret to unravel and the perfect ammunition to do so.

 

"You are not a panty peeler."

 

This statement got him one raised eyebrow and a snort. "So, you have come up with some better childish nickname than Wilson the Panty-Peeler for me or to what do I owe your visit?"

 

Snarky but not annoyed, House noted absently and grinned when Wilson didn't turn back to his boring files but instead kept his eyes fixed on him. Amusement, resignation and a little wariness were written in the chocolate brown eyes of his friend and House's grin grew even wider. Oh, how he loved to toy with Wilson. The only better way to spend his time would be playing an entirely different - and X-rated - game with Wilson. Though House doubted that he would ever get that chance. Or rather he had always assumed that Wilson would never be interested in this kind of a relationship with him - a man - but certain new - and shocking - information had gotten his hopes up a notch.

 

"You didn't sleep with even one of the nurses at the hospital."

 

Both eyebrows climbed up on Wilson's forehead. "So what? If a Department Head doesn't abuse his position of power to sleep with everyone he is suspicious now. As far as I know you haven't slept with one of the nurses either."

 

"I am also a cripple and more importantly I don't have the reputation for sleeping around. A reputation that you haven't contested once."

 

An annoyed sigh. Good the more annoyed Wilson got the more likely it was that he blabbed his own secret by accident. "I have told you numerous times that I..."

 

"Wasn't cheating, yes. But you never told me that you didn't sleep with any of the female nurses."

 

"Before you change my sign to say James Gay Wilson, I assure you that I also didn't sleep with any of the male nurses... or doctors. I haven't slept with anyone at the hospital. Satisfied?!"

 

Wilson didn't wait for a reply as he turned back to his file. House allowed him the time to imagine himself safe while he mulled over the newly, confirmed information. When he had overheard the head nurse telling a cadet nurse that she shouldn't get her hopes up because Wilson had flirted back at her because no one had ever gotten past first base with him. Of course, she had worded it slightly differently - "You won't get more than a chaste kiss out of him." \- but House's curiosity had been sparked. Which self-respecting doctor with a sense for his reputation would allow rumors about him bedding all the nurses go wild if they weren't true?! The only logical explanation was that Wilson wasn't as much into women as he wanted others to believe. That would also explain his three failed marriages. Still it stood to reason that he wouldn't sleep with any of the male staff members if he wanted to keep his sexual orientation a secret. So even if his last statement was true- it didn't prove anything, at least not to House.

 

"So," House decided to lighten the mood before Wilson could get the idea that he was after his secret. "No one at the hospital has seen you naked except for... No, I haven't seen you naked either."

 

House frowned as he gave up on the joke that had come to his mind a second ago. It was useless if he hadn't seen Wilson naked... and he hadn't. Which was strange because... weren't best mates supposed to see each other naked at least once. Shouldn't they compare cock sizes or at least slap each other with towels in the showers? House couldn't claim a waste amount of experiences when it came to friendships. Nevertheless there had to be an unwritten rule that they had to be around each other naked to cross the space between friends to best friends. Wilson had certainly seen House naked on numerous occasions - not only during his stays at the hospital - but also in the locker room when he had still been capable of playing sports against his friend. But he couldn't remember seeing Wilson completely naked at even one such occasion... and House would have remembered it so that meant...

 

"You are hiding something."

 

"You already said that," Wilson reminded him with a supposedly bored voice but House could detect an underlying tension.

 

"But now I know where you are hiding it." House pointed his cane at Wilson. "You are hiding it under your clothes. Something you don't want anyone else to see. Maybe I should call one of your ex-wives and ask them..."

 

"You won't do any such thing!"

 

House jerked back in his seat as Wilson jumped to his feet and slammed his hands on his desk. Brown eyes flashed with anger, annoyance and... fear. House blinked slowly even as his friend pulled him up and dragged him towards the door. He had only intended to make a joke along the lines of "I will ask Julie if you blow dry all your hair" or "Bonnie will certainly tell me that you have a secret make-up stash" because he hadn't actually believed that Wilson had anything to hide. Expect for the fact that he was obviously more of a prude than House had ever suspected. Now though House got the certain feeling that he had hit the nail on the head. These perfectly boring suits were hiding something and House would figure out what it was.

 

"Eight o`clock at my place. Bring Chinese," House ordered, before Wilson closed the door in his face. 

 

OOO

 

"You're late."

 

Wilson rolled his eyes at the greeting and closed the door behind himself. He carried the take away boxes to the couch where House was enjoying a beer - probably not his first - and an episode of the L World.

 

"Beer is in the fridge. Bring me one as well while you are at it."

 

Really, Wilson sighed to himself as he got two beer and carried them back to his friend, sometimes he wondered why he even put up with House. Most people who knew of his friendship with House either believed Wilson to be a saint or crazy. Nowadays Wilson tended more to the latter himself especially considering his latest conversation with House. Not only had his friend developed a sudden - unwanted - interest in his intimate affairs but House had also managed to rile him up until Wilson had lost his temper. Which in itself wouldn't have been too bad if Wilson hadn't also spiked his friend's curiosity with his outburst. He had seen the gleam in these blue eyes right before he had closed the door in House's face and he knew what it meant. House was on to something and Wilson feared that he wouldn't be able to put him off the scent now.

 

He had entertained the idea of staying away from House until an interesting case took his fancy - that was why he was an hour late - but had decided against it in the end. House would get only more suspicious if Wilson started avoiding him. Besides Wilson didn't want to stay away from his best friend even if he behaved like an obnoxious ass sometimes. Love truly was a terrible motivator especially when it came to self-preservation.

 

"Are you waiting for the beer to get warm? Sit your arse down here, Wilson!"

 

With an exasperated sigh - and a hidden smile - Wilson did as he was told and claimed one of the take away boxes for himself before House could steal any more of his king prawns.

 

"What are we watching?"

 

It was a futile question considering that Tuesday night was Monster trucks night but at least it was a safe topic. As safe as any topic could be with House if you were trying to sidetrack him. It rarely worked especially as his friend wasn't above jumping topics if the mood struck him.

 

"Monster trucks... but I could be persuaded to play one of my favorite movies. How about Bad Girls gone wild or..."

 

"Monster trucks is fine, thanks."

 

"Suit yourself." House beamed brightly at him as he switched the TV to Monster trucks and Wilson allowed himself to relax. Maybe his friend had given up on the topic and found himself something else to obsess about. Preferably something that would lead to another epic fight with Cuddy to give Wilson the time to prepare himself for the next time that House's focus shifted to him. Because he wasn't stupid enough to believe that his friend would just completely forget about his outburst and the reasons behind it. If he steeled himself for the next attack though then nothing would...

 

"Oh Shit!"

 

Wilson heard the insincere words before one of the take away boxes landed in his lap and the contents - Chicken-Curry-Rice \- started to soak through his trousers and shirt.

 

"What..." Wilson barely managed to get out when a hand holding a bottle of beer entered his peripheral vision and cold liquid joined the mess on his clothes.

 

"What the fuck?! House!" Wilson didn't care about the mess he made when he jumped to his feet and sent the take- away box tumbling to the ground. 

 

"I just wanted to make sure that you didn't get burned in a sensitive place and the beer was still cold."

 

If it were anyone else Wilson might have given the person the benefit of the doubt. Seeing that this was House, he knew that there was an ulterior motive behind soiling his clothes. Otherwise his friend wouldn't have sacrificed a perfectly good bottle of beer just to prevent Wilson from getting burns... from lukewarm Chinese food.

 

"You did that on purpose." Wilson shuddered in disgust as his trousers and boxers stuck to his flesh when he took a step towards his innocent looking friend. "Why would you..."

 

"You should probably undress and shower." House nodded to Wilson's soiled and soaking clothes. "One of your hoodies and a fresh pair of pants should still be around here."

 

Slowly - much too slowly - the penny dropped and Wilson gaped as House's words finally registered with him. "You want me to undress!"

 

His friend had the nerve to raise an eyebrow at him and cock his head to the side like he was an extremely stupid patient of his. "Unless you want to drive home like this then I would suggest..."

 

"You fucking bastard!" Wilson clenched his hands into fists at his side as he glared at House. "You can't leave anything alone, can you?!"

 

Wilson took a shaking breath to slow down his erratic beating heart even as his whole body was shaking with rage. It wouldn't do him any good if he beat the annoying grin from House's face - although he badly wanted to hurt the smug bastard - as it would only delay the inevitable. Of course Wilson could just collect some fresh clothes, lock himself in the bathroom to change and leave with his dignity intact but...

 

"If I don't undress here you will come up with some other crazy plan like spraying me with water in the clinic and claiming that it is radioactive or something like that, right?"

 

A thoughtful look crossed his friend's face. "Actually I thought about spraying you with something contagious but your idea..."

 

"Shut up!"

 

Wilson didn't know if it were the words or his tone of voice but House snapped his mouth shut with a click. Maybe, it also had something to do with the fact that Wilson had started on the first few buttons of his shirt and House didn't want to interrupt the show.

 

"Fucking bastard," Wilson muttered to himself - not caring if House heard him - as he untucked his shirt and reached for his belt. He was aware that he could still walk away without giving his friend what he wanted but then... he didn't fancy getting undressed by the nurses if House used some security protocol to his advantage and forced Wilson to get undressed at the hospital. At least if he only revealed his secret to House there was a chance that the whole hospital wouldn't know about it by tomorrow... although the gambling odds didn't appear to be in Wilson's favor.

 

Wilson ignored the cold thread of fear that settled in his stomach and made his hands shake with nerves. He almost ripped his trousers open in his haste to get it over with and then pushed both his trousers and boxers down to his knees in one swift motion. It almost felt cowardly as Wilson turned his head away afterwards but he wasn't brave enough to face House when the realisation hit his friend. It might be pathetic but Wilson didn't want to see repulsion and shock mirrored in the beloved blue depths as they noticed...

 

"I always knew that you didn't have any balls to speak of."

 

A choked breath rasped past Wilson's lips at the terrible joke. He knew what House was seeing right now. It wasn't hard to notice the absence of... the expected equipment between Wilson's legs. And it was even easier to draw the right conclusions from the thick dark curls that hid his most intimate place... although not well enough to shelter it from piercing blue eyes. He bit down hard on his lip as a shameful sob threatened to force its way out in the open. House wouldn't get the satisfaction of seeing him cry. He might see the scars on his chest and notice the spare hairs there but Wilson wouldn't show him his tears. No matter how hot they burned in his eyes as the humiliation of being exposed before his best friend continued.

 

"Wilson."

 

His head snapped in the direction of the well-known voice which sounded close to him... much too close. Either House had learned to tiptoe with his cane or Wilson had been too distracted to notice him moving towards him. Either way House stood only a few inches away from him now. Wilson almost stumbled over his trousers in his haste to bring more space between his friend and himself. He would have landed on the ground if a strong hand on his biceps hadn't stabilized him.

 

"Wilson..." House started again but he couldn't bear to listen or even look at his friend right now.

 

"Go on," he pressed out and allowed his anger to bleed into his voice to push the hurt to the background. "Ask me what cup size I was when I got the mastectomy or if I still have pictures from that time - preferably nude ones. Or maybe you want to know if I have a strap-on collection in my wardrobe. You could also imply that my ex-wives were actually lesbians and..."

 

"Stop!" The hand squeezed his upper arm before it fell away and Wilson finally dared to peek at his friend. House looked like a puppy who had torn apart the cushions and was slowly realising why that might anger its owner. There was no hint of disgust hidden in the blue depths and Wilson slowly unclenched his hands although his heart was still hammering away in his chest.

 

"Take a shower and get changed. There is enough time of the commercial left for you to get back in time for the last part of the show and another beer."

 

Under any other circumstances these words would have been enough for Wilson. Coming from House they were as good as a heartfelt apology and Wilson usually - on the rare occasions that House felt guilty for something - treated them as such. But not this time. No, not after he had been humiliated and forced to reveal this part of himself to House although he had never wanted his friend to know. Certainly not after the countless jokes about transgender people made by House that Wilson had been forced to listen to during their years as friends. The jokes hadn't changed how Wilson felt about House - which proved just how stupid a feeling love was - but they prevented him from getting too close to his friend. There had always been some distance left between them - his wives had also helped in this regard - and Wilson would have kept it this way if not for House stupid curiosity. Now his friend knew. Everything was out in the open. The fundament of their friendship shaken and...

 

"I'm sorry."

 

Wilson's eyes widened in disbelief as they met sincere blue ones and it took him a moment to find his voice again. "You are sorry for forcing me to come out to you as transgender by staking an incident that forced me to get undressed in front of you?"

 

House shook his head. "No, I just... you are my friend."

 

The words weren't what Wilson had expected but they were enough to calm his nerves and allow him to take a deep breath as he nodded his acceptance. He didn't know if it was the shock - or some sense of guilt - that had forced the reassurance from House's lips. Maybe he was even sincere but he would take what he could get for now. Even if it meant that he would feel the betrayal even harder come tomorrow - if House changed his mind about him - he would take this one evening with his best friend even if it was the last one.

 

OOO

 

"Oh crap!"

 

House leaned back against the cushions - one arm thrown over his eyes - and sighed heavily. He hadn't expected to unbury such a secret when he had come up with his plan to get Wilson undressed at home. In fact he had been prepared for anything but the reality he had revealed. He had imagined something like a penis that leaned a little heavier than the average to one side - Wilson would be the type to be embarrassed about that. Or maybe scars that spoke of some kind of abuse - again Wilson would be someone to be ashamed of that. He had even hoped that this evening might lead to something more after he had already come up with the hypothesis that Wilson might be into men. Hell, he had even stocked up on condoms and lube only to be caught completely off guard.

 

"Damn!"

 

House cursed out loud as he sat up - finally free to let his feelings out after Wilson had gone home. They had spent another couple of hours watching Monster trucks and sharing Wilson's portion of take away but... there had been some underlying tension the whole time.

 

"Idiot, of course there had been tension. You just forced your best friend to out himself as transgender in the worst possible way."

 

Usually House ignored the little, annoying voice in his head that always tried to meddle when he had crossed some line but this time he had to admit how badly he had wronged his best friend. Really it wouldn't surprise him if Wilson didn't want to have anything to do with him anymore. He might only have stayed for another few hours with House because he had been too shocked to think logical.

 

A piercing pain shot through his leg at this thought and House grinded his teeth together as he grabbed for the bottle of Vicodin and dry swallowed a pill. Usually he would have taken at least two to knock himself out. Since he wanted to be functional for a while longer he needed to minimize his drug intake tonight. Groaning House got to his feet and stumbled through the room to fetch his laptop before he collapsed back onto the couch. He couldn't force Wilson to forgive him for his terrible prank and stay friends with him but there was a way to make sure that he didn't hurt his friend even more by accident with some stupid joke.

 

Impatiently House waited until the laptop had booted up before he entered his first search of the night: Woman to man - transgender His search got him thousands of results and House browsed through some of them before he found an interesting sounding article from a psychologist and started his research in earnest.

 

OOO

 

"Did you sleep at all last night?"

 

House barely glanced up from the file in his hands to note Cuddy's deeply cut blouse - a little deeper and the ladies would sniff fresh air - and shrugged nonchalantly. "What's a guy to do when there is an insatiable lady at his place?!"

 

"Did this lady demand payment by the hour?"

 

House rolled his eyes at the disgusted undertone in Cuddy's voice. He didn't book a hooker as often as she believed - his sex drive had severely suffered from the Vicodin and the constant pain - but it was fun to play with her assumptions. 

 

"flat-rate benefit, I booked her for the whole night and got a bottle of champagne on top of it. Her clothes were almost as revealing as yours." Now, House allowed himself a lustful glance at Cuddy's cleavage and was met with an insulted huff and a glare. "Don't expect you will get away with not doing your clinic hours this month."

 

House merely rolled his eyes at the weak remark and vowed to himself to sent Cameron to do some of his clinic hours for him. Then he marched - as best as possible with his cane - in the direction of the lifts - with one promising file under his arm. At least the case of the sixteen year old girl that had already fainted several times without the doctors figuring out what was wrong with her sounded interesting enough to keep his team entertained for some time. Certainly long enough for him to go through everything he had learned last night during his research.

 

House popped another Vicodin and rubbed his eyes tiredly, the words on the screen blurring as he tried to keep himself awake. It was six in the morning, almost time to get up and he hadn't even caught a whiff of sleep yet. Still the hours spent researching had busted his knowledge of transgender individuals immensely... at least to a point at which he realised how insensitive all his "tranny" jokes had been. Especially considering that he had made these jokes in front of Wilson.

Well, House stared at the ceiling, it was no wonder that his friend had decided against coming out to him after he had painted himself as a transphobic asshole. Not that House didn't make inappropriate jokes about anything and everyone but he had never given Wilson a hint that there wasn't some serious resentment fueling his jokes. Probably because he hadn't really given the topic much thought besides making fun of "women with beards" or "ladies with a cock". And adding his cringe-worthy behavior towards the intersexual model - who had clearly identified as female - to the list House was surprised that Wilson had put up with him at all for so many years.

House closed the laptop but didn't get up from the couch as his head swam with the newly found knowledge. He had researched as much as possible in the short time. His reading had covered articles from psychologists and medical professionals and various statistics as well as blog posts from transgender individuals. The medical stuff - hormones and surgeries - had been the easiest to read for House. He learned about some new surgery techniques but nothing that really surprised him. It was different with the articles that focused on the psychological aspects of living as a transgender person. House hadn't been aware how badly some people suffered from body dysphoria and under the expectations of society. But while these articles had opened his eyes somewhat to their struggles the posts from transgender individuals had left the greatest impression.

House would deny that he was able to empathize with anyone even under torture but in the safety of his own home he could admit that he was only human. Admittedly, he hadn't really thought about the people who's blogs he had read but instead about Wilson. He had wondered when his friend had known that he was a man and how his family had reacted to him coming out. Had they insisted that it was just a phase before coming around? Considering that Wilson was still on speaking terms with them, they must have accepted him at some point but House wondered how long it had taken them and what his friend had gone through in this time. 

Of course he could ask him but... numerous sites advised against asking for such details if they weren't offered freely. Usually House would throw such advice to the wind but... he had already fucked up once and he didn't want to make it worse. So as hard as it sounded he had to keep his curiosity in check and... treat Wilson like always. Yes, House nodded to himself as he stretched on the couch it would be for the best if he didn't treat his friend any differently. No new, insensitive jokes. No invasive questions. Just buddies as usual. It should work considering that nothing major had changed. Wilson was the same man he had been this morning. The only difference was that House had gathered some new information about him and it was his responsibility to handle this situation like an adult. Once every decade he should be able to manage such a feat. Content with himself, House finally allowed his eyelids to drop and his body to collect some much needed sleep.


	2. A Way paved with good Intentions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the second and last chapter of this story. I hope you will enjoy it. =)
> 
> **Trigger Warning** : Memories of bullying, transphobia, transphobic language. Don't read on if any of these triggers you.

### A Way paved with good Intentions

"Lunch time, Honey!"

 

Wilson rolled his eyes inwardly while he directed an apologetically smile at his patient. "I'm sorry Mrs. Taylor. He will go away if we just ignore him."

 

Not that this had ever worked with his friend but Wilson couldn't very well tell his patient that the Head of Diagnostician usually behaved like a five year old who wanted ice-cream. It was easier to hope that one of House's team members would notice their boss on the balcony and bribe him to go back inside with the latest test results of his patient. He had long since given up on the hope that his friend would get the hint when Wilson was busy and leave him alone. 

 

"No, no, it's fine." Mrs. Taylor got up and collected her handbag before she smiled brightly at Wilson. "After everything you have done for me, you deserve some free time with your boyfriend."

 

Wilson barely managed to keep his mouth shut as his patient winked at House - who had the nerve to throw a kiss her way - and to show her out before he rounded on his friend. "Great not only have you proven again that you need as much attention as a toddler but now one of my patients also believes that we are a couple. If this makes the rounds..."

 

"Relax, Jimmie boy." House closed the door of the balcony behind him and put one of his especially dirty smiles on his face. "No one here will believe that we are a gay couple."

 

Wilson bit down hard on his tongue as bile rose in his throat. There it was. House had withstood the temptation longer than usual - more than twelve hours since the forced coming out - but now the jokes would certainly start. And not only jokes but little pranks and snarky remarks as well. Not to mention all the questions that must be on his friend's mind by now. Hopefully House would lose interest in a few days and then they could go back to normal. And by normal Wilson meant that House would only make as many jokes about his gender identity as he made about his ties. 

 

It sounded optimistic even to Wilson but he wasn't ready to believe that his gender identity would destroy his friendship with House... or change it significantly. He couldn't. The idea that he was about to lose his best friend was enough to make him feel nauseous. And that was without him adding his love and attraction for House into the mix. Thankfully he had given up on moving their relationship beyond the platonic long ago or the next few - certainly horrible - days would completely destroy him.

 

"I already told Cuddy that I entertained a hooker all night at my home and made inappropriate comments about her wardrobe choices." Wilson gaped at his friend as House winked at him and continued. "So, we are safe from assumptions that we are anything more than best buddies. The whole hospital will just believe that I pulled a prank in front of your patient and they would actually be right for once. So, lunch?"

 

Wilson opened his mouth to protest - or to ask House if he was feeling alright - but then he merely nodded numbly and collected his wallet. It was rare that House forewent the chance of making fun of someone - especially someone in Wilson's situation. But maybe this was his friend's way of apologizing for last night - a brief period of grace before he started in earnest. 

 

"You are paying."

 

Wilson only rolled his eyes at House as he followed his friend to the cafeteria. Of course he was paying. He was always paying. Nothing had changed in this regard at least.

 

OOO

 

"Wilson, I need a consult!"

 

House threw himself in one of the visitor armchairs, flung the file on his desk and stole Wilson's coffee mug. For someone who called himself a cripple, his friend was as fast as a hawk that was hunting its prey.

 

"Please, take a seat and make yourself at home. Do you want some coffee? I only have one mug here so I hope you don't mind sharing it with me. And please use my desk as if it was yours, no need to be shy."

 

The only reaction he got for the sarcasm was House rolling his eyes at him and emptying his mug in one go. "No time to fool around, Sweetheart." House grinned at him before his eyes became serious and he nodded at the file. "Sixteen year old healthy girl. Suddenly presenting with high blood pressure, dizziness, fainting, sudden aggression, muscle pain, abnormal liver function test results, greasy skin, hair loss and no menstruation in four months. Pregnancy test was negative."

 

Wilson frowned and tipped his fingers on top of his desk. "Brain cancer could explain some of the symptoms but not all of them. Of course she could have brain cancer and something else. An infection or..."

 

"No fever." House shook his head and stared at the wall behind Wilson's desk. "MRI was clean. No tumors. Her heart is also fine. It just doesn't fit together."

 

Wilson couldn't help but stare as his friend tapped his cane impatiently onto the carpet while he gnawed at his lower lip at the same time. Blue eyes were focused inwards as he searched for a solution to his case. God but Wilson couldn't help falling in love more every time he saw House like this. Every time he saw House, period. It wasn't healthy and he should stop. It would be safer to find himself another nice, boring woman to marry and to lock his feelings for his best friend away. The problem was that this strategy hadn't work the last three times and Wilson was unwilling to put another woman through this experience. It was bad enough that he couldn't get away from House - even after the stunt he had pulled last week. He didn't need to add another, innocent person to the mess although... there wasn't any mess. House hadn't made one transphobic joke or comment yet. No, he hadn't even hinted at Wilson's gender identity. At first Wilson had believed that House just didn't want to embarrass him at work - which was already very unlikely. When not even one hurtful comment had left his friend's lips when they were in private though, he had been completely confused. Certainly his friend couldn't act all mature about Wilson being transgender, right? It didn't fit together with anything Wilson knew about House. No, it was more likely that his friend was planning something big. Some terrible prank but... Wilson also couldn't believe that. Or rather he didn't want to believe it and so far he hadn't gotten any real proof that this was House's reason for holding back. 

 

"He will certainly get around to mocking you soon enough. Just like he mocks you about everything. There hasn't been the right opening yet, that's all."

 

Wilson nodded to the reasonable voice in his head and then forced himself to focus onto the file on his desk. "If this were a teenage boy and not a girl, I would suggest you check if his testosterone isn't too high but... what?"

 

Wilson watched fascinated as blue eyes widened in realisation before House jumped out of his chair and limbed towards the door. "My patient is more Sam than Samantha... or what other name they have chosen."

 

"What? You think an intersexual condition or..."

 

"Not impossible but it's more likely that this stupid idiot bought some stretched testosterone products in the streets instead of going to see an endocrinologist. Although," House pursed his lips thoughtfully. "The parents are probably as much to blame as my patient. They always wanted the perfect daughter. I wonder how they will react if they find out that they probably have a son?!"

 

"Probably?" 

 

"My patient could also be non-binary although I lean more towards transgender man. Don't worry I won't out him to his parents. No chance to know how they would react."

 

Blue eyes met brown ones and Wilson held his breath. This was the perfect moment for some insensitive question or a joke. House could even pretend that it was relevant to the case if he harassed Wilson now and...

 

"You always stimulate the genius in me. See you later."

 

Wilson stared at the closed door for what felt like hours before he finally managed to tear his eyes away and to focus back onto his paperwork even as a horrible suspicion started to form in his mind. He just hoped that House would prove him wrong.

 

OOO

 

"Fuck!"

 

Wilson flinched at his own loud voice as he stumbled in the hotel room and sank down on the edge of the bed. He was screwed. Completely screwed.

 

"Calm down. You are overreacting," his mind tried to stop him from freaking out but it was no use. Not after everything that had happened today... or rather what hadn't happened.

 

Wilson had believed that House would stop by his office later - after solving the case - and finally take the chance to mock him. Some well placed jibes, a few insults and a couple of intimate questions and House would have gotten it out of his system - or at least that was what Wilson had thought.

 

In fact his friend had actually stopped by his office but only to complain about the ignorant parents of his patient and then about Cuddy who made him do all the paperwork. Nothing out of the ordinary except for the fact that House hadn't mentioned once that Wilson was transgender himself. Not once. Not even hinted at it. If it had been anyone else he would have believed that they were decent people that had accepted him. With House though he feared that he was planning something. 

 

Wilson ran his hands through his hair as he tried to get his heart rate back under control as it hammered away in its ribcage. He hadn't come out to his best friend because he was afraid of House's disregard for the feelings of others. He had often enough witnessed how one of his friend's pranks had gone out of control and how much harm had come to the victims of said pranks. He didn't want his gender identity to become the next punch line of one of his House's pranks but had to be his friend's plan. He had lured Wilson into believing that he was safe to increase the effect of whatever he had planned for him. It was the only logical explanation as to why House had been so decent and also why he had educated himself about gender identities.

 

"He can't do something as bad as the guys at Highschool," the little voice tried to calm him down but it only brought back one of the worst days of Wilson's life.

 

"Hey James!"

Wilson turned away from the sink in the restroom to look at the four boys that had just entered. One of them was his best friend Alex while he only knew the others from seeing. They weren't in the same class as Alex and him.

"Hi," Wilson greeted his friend and nodded to the other boys before he turned back to check his school uniform in the mirror one last time. 

"Was the line in the girl's restroom too long or why are you here?"

Wilson froze. An icy lump settled down in his stomach at the comment even as he tried to remain outwardly calm. It couldn't be. He had told Alex yesterday that he was transgender, but certainly his friend wouldn't betray him like this. 

"The girls would scream if I walked into the ladies' restroom." Wilson made to move to the door but the other boys blocked his exit.

"You could easily prove to them that you are just as much a girl as they are, couldn't you?!"  
There was a dangerous gleam in the eyes of the boy who appeared to be the leader of the small gang. Before Wilson could come up with a witty comeback, he found himself pressed against the wall. His arms were captured by the other two boys while their leader pressed his arm against his chest and literally took Wilson's breath away in the process.

"Come on, Alex!" The leader gestured to Wilson's supposed friend who hesitantly came up to them. "You said that he is a girl, prove it!"

"No!" Wilson gasped as his friend reached for his belt. "Please, don't!" He was aware that he was begging and also that he wouldn't get out of this situation with his dignity intact but it would be less hurtful if his friend wasn't the one to deliver the final blow.

Alex didn't react and Wilson pressed his eyes shut as he felt how his pants and boxers were drawn down to his knees. He could feel the stares of all four boys on him as they took in his faulty body.

Please just don't touch me there, Wilson begged inwardly.

"Wow, you are a real girl! What about your tits?"

Wilson flinched at the hateful words and tried to struggle against the hands that went for the buttons of his shirt - he didn't want them to see his binder - when the door of the restroom opened.

"What's going on in here?!"

Mister Steinberg!

Wilson recognized the voice of the hated biology teacher at once and sagged in relief when the other boys let go of him.

"We were just telling Wilson that girls aren't allowed in here," the boy's leader defended himself.

Silence and then: "Out!"

The boys let go of Wilson and scrambled away as fast as they could but he only dared to open his eyes again when the door closed behind them. Shame rose in his cheeks as he noticed that his teacher was still there. That he had seen everything when Wilson had always been so careful after his parents had finally allowed him to attend High School as a boy.

"Mister Steinberg..."

"Make yourself presentable again, boy and be more careful in the future."

Wilson took a shaking breath, desperate to hold back the tears at his teacher's words and after everything else that had just happened. "Yes, sir."

The man nodded. "If you find yourself in need of a place to study in your breaks my office is always open to you. God knows you need to do some extra work for your biology course."

"Thank you," Wilson murmured as he re-buckled his belt. He was all too aware that from this day forward he would be thankful for every second spent away from his peers... and the school year had only just started.

 

Wilson barely made it to the toilet in time as his stomach twisted violently at the memories of his last year in Highschool. He had been bullied every day. From cruel insults painted on the door of his locker over tackles in the hallway to threats of death and rape. It had gotten to a point at which Wilson would have gladly taken one of the boys up on their offer to slit his throat in his sleep, just to put an end to the nightmare.

 

More bile rose up into his throat and Wilson retched anew while tremors ran through his body and beads of sweat rolled down his face. Steinberg had been the only one to still refer to him by his male pronouns during the year - the other teachers hadn't been as understanding. Wilson also suspected that he had only been allowed to continue wearing the boy's uniform because of his teacher's good relationship with the headmaster. If he had been forced to wear a skirt and a blouse, grow out his hair and go back to being called Leila he would have ended his life.

 

Wilson shuddered as he recalled the fear, anger and hopelessness that had controlled his every waking hour and had followed him into his sleep every night. He couldn't go through this again. Not ever... and certainly not for House's amusement. House... his friend. Wilson didn't hold back his sobs this time as he curled up on the cold floor of the bathroom and wished for the impossible. A friend that wouldn't betray him.

 

OOO

 

"Do you know what's going on with Wilson?"

 

House looked up from his videogame to meet Cuddy's worried gaze. "I haven't seen him today. Why? Did he come to work wearing the same tie as yesterday?"

 

It wasn't funny. House realised it the second Cuddy's lips thinned into an angry line. "He looked like a ghost when I saw him this morning and by this I mean that he was as pale as humanly possible. I told him to go home but he insisted on staying."

 

"And you want me to do what exactly now?" House barely managed to bring the question across in a bored tone as everything in him itched to jump to his feet and check on Wilson immediately. The idiot had probably come to work sick instead of staying home like any sane person.

 

"Look after him. Bully him into getting home. Drug him to sleep. I don't care just make sure that he gets some rest!"

 

House didn't get the chance to remark on Cuddy's last - most interesting - suggestion as she marched off a second later. He waited until he couldn't hear the echo of her heels anymore before he jumped into action and made his way to Wilson's office. He didn't bother to knock as he let himself in as usual and closed the door firmly behind himself before he turned to the sick idiot behind the desk.

 

Cuddy had been right, Wilson looked terrible. His face was pale and worn, dark circles under his eyes spoke of a sleepless night as did his puffy eyelids and the slight tremor in his hands.   
The lights in the office were on so no migraine - or Wilson was even more stubborn than House had thought. The faint scent of chamomile though spoke of something stomach related.

 

"You are sick."

 

Tired brown eyes looked up at House as their owner shook his head. "I'm not."

 

"Pale as a ghost. Presumably stomach ache and vomiting. Trouble sleeping and probably circulation problems." House held up a finger for each symptom. "So either you are sick or... pregnant."

 

The word fell from House's lips before he could stop it and he bit down hard on his tongue when Wilson grew even paler - an almost impossible feat. House swallowed against his suddenly dry throat as the thought that he might be right occurred to him. He had already suspected that Wilson was attracted to men and women equally. Since House didn't know what surgeries his friend had had - besides the obvious - and how high his hormone dosage was there was no way of ruling a pregnancy out. Still he could have voiced his question gentler, seeing the effects it had on his friend. Wilson was grabbing his desk for dear life while pearls of sweat rolled down his face.

 

"Wilson," House started intent on being reassuring no matter what. Even if the thought of his friend with another man - or anyone else really - turned his stomach.

 

"I'm not pregnant. Please... don't tell anyone."

 

House blinked slowly as he made his way to Wilson's side. His friend didn't make sense and he also looked on the verge of a panic attack. It was either a high fever or a neurological problem and House didn't like either option.

 

"Alright," he agreed lightly as he stepped up next to his friend. "I won't tell anyone that you are not pregnant."

 

He inched his hand closer to Wilson's forehead but jerked away when his friend suddenly jumped up from his chair and faced him with a wild expression in his face.

 

"I don't know what you are playing at but please... whatever prank you have planned don't do it!"

 

House shook his head in confusion. "I haven't..."

 

"I have done everything to make sure that no one at the hospital knows that I'm transgender. If you out me... I can't go through all the hate and prejudices again. I can't..." A dry sob shook Wilson's body but House was too shocked to take the chance to interrupt him. He was starting to hope that his friend was running a high fever and was hallucinating because if he truly believed that House would out him to the whole hospital then... something had gone horribly wrong.

 

OOO

 

"Please." Desperate brown eyes met blue ones. Wilson shook with the effort to stay upright and deliver the speech he had come up with last night at the same time. He had thought about appalling to House's sense of honor only to dismiss the idea right away. Threats were also out of the question so Wilson was only left with two option: Begging and bribing.

 

"You can have anything you want. I will answer every question you ask and... you can have pictures from before my transition. I will let you examine me and if you want you can also f-fuck me." 

 

Wilson met House's eyes just in time to see shock and disgust written in them and visibly flinched. It had been hard enough to offer his own body as a bargain chip but to see his offer rejected with disgust was almost more than Wilson could handle. He forced himself to continue even as his head started to swim with every breath he took. "Don't tell anyone. Please. I would... rather die than go through this... again." The last words tumbled out in a choked voice as he struggled to breathe past the tightness in his chest.

 

"Panic attack," his mind supplied helpfully even as the world around him blurred more with every shaking breath he took.

 

"Wilson!"

 

Hands around his waist. House's voice in his ear. Blood rushing through his veins. His heart hammering away in his chest. Nausea. His legs colliding with the couch. A hand on his neck. Forcing him to fold forwards. Tremors shaking his whole body. A hand rubbing circles on his back.

 

"Breathe slowly. In and out. In and out."

 

It was hard but somehow Wilson managed to follow House's instructions. Slowly his heart rate started to get back to normal and breathing became easier again as the tightness in his chest vanished.

 

"Well done," House murmured next to him and Wilson barely stopped himself from laughing out loud hysterically. Maybe now House believed him pathetic enough to refrain from playing a prank on him. He certainly wouldn't consider him worth of his friendship anymore. Who would want a friend like Wilson who broke down like a little child and only barely refrained from pissing himself?!

 

Carefully he uncurled himself from his bent position but avoided looking at House and instead stared at his feet. He shouldn't have gone through with his plan to beg his friend for mercy after a night filled with too little sleep and too many bad memories. Still he hadn't been able to hold himself back when House had appeared in his office. And now... now...

 

"I'm so sorry, Wilson."

 

Against his former resolve Wilson's head snapped up to meet sorrow filled blue depths. "What are you sorry for?" A terrible thought struck him as soon as the words had left his mouth. "God, you have already told everyone, haven't you?"

 

OOO

 

House had never felt more like a monster than in this second when confronted with Wilson's wide, fearful eyes and the accusation that hung between them. He deserved to feel like the last scum on earth, House readily admitted to himself. After everything he had put Wilson through in the last years and his disgusting way to force his friend to come out, he deserved every last ounce of self-loathing. But Wilson didn't deserve to believe that House had done something so cruel. He would later analyze what Wilson's assumptions said about the state of their friendship after he had cleaned up this mess.

 

"I didn't tell anyone that you are transgender." A breath left Wilson in a whoosh and House hated himself even more. "I also never planned on outing you. Hell, I also don't want to prank you... at least not in a way that has anything to do with your gender identity."

 

Wary brown eyes looked hopefully up at him although it was obvious that Wilson couldn't completely believe him yet. House sighed quietly and stared down at the floor. "Why do you believe that I would do something so terrible to you?"

 

"You have done terrible things to me before."

 

House flinched at the hard blow but accepted the truth behind it. A lesser - or more sane - person than Wilson would have already cut all ties with him. He was a horrible friend - a terrible human being - and he didn't deserve someone like Wilson in his life. Still, he was much too selfish to let him go without a fight.

 

"I know but... what did give you the impression that I would go out of my way to humiliate you for... who you are? Have I treated you any differently since I found out that you are transgender or did I do something that did upset you?" House had been so careful not to treat Wilson any differently than how he had treated him before this whole mess had started. Still there was no way of telling if he had been successful. Obviously not, going by Wilson's accusations and his complete breakdown. 

 

"I... it's stupid but..." A bitter chuckle fell from Wilson's lips. "I had expected you to make jokes and comments and to ask me all kind of intimate questions and... you did none of it so..."

 

House saw Wilson shrug out of the corner of his eyes and it finally clicked. "You thought I was planning some big, horrible prank and just letting you imagine that you were safe." 

 

It made so much sense that it hurt. House certainly had followed this exact strategy before and if his memory wasn't failing him then Wilson had been the victim more times than not.

 

"This sucks!" 

 

House threw himself back into the cushions and glanced sideways at his friend. He didn't know if there was still a way to safe their friendship but he had to try at least. Besides, he couldn't allow Wilson to keep on living in fear of him.

 

"I swear - on my damn leg - that I would and will never out you to anyone with or without a prank. I... I'm already sorry for leaving you no choice but to out yourself to me in such a manner. It was never my intention to humiliate you - not like this - and I... understand why you couldn't trust me with your secret before. I'm just not trustworthy."

 

There, he had said it. His assurances and apologies were out in the open and House could only hope that it was enough for Wilson to even consider to stay friends with him.

 

OOO

 

House was sincere.

 

Wilson blinked slowly up at his friend as his sluggish brain tried to make sense of what this meant. If House was speaking the truth - and Wilson knew him long enough to notice when he was lying - then he had made a complete fool of himself today. Even more so, he had accused his friend of being a bigger jerk than he actually was - and that said something.

 

Wilson took a shaking breath to push the guilt at that thought away. No one could fault him for expecting the worst from House after everything the brilliant doctor had put him through. Still it sucked that Wilson hadn't been able to trust his friend when...

 

"You did your research on gender identity and transgender people to understand my situation!"

 

It made so much more sense than House spending hours reading up on the topic just to prank him. Actually he wouldn't put it past his friend to spend hours - or even days - planning the perfect prank but if it had been anyone else Wilson wouldn't even have considered this possibility.

 

"Yes, I was curious." Wilson heard the slight grin in House's voice and couldn't stop a small smile from turning his lips upwards. One of these days his friend's curiosity would kill him - if Wilson wasn't there to save his life. "And I didn't want to make you even more uncomfortable after I had humiliated you in my apartment."

 

Bile rose in Wilson's throat at the reminder of that night but he swallowed it down even as a shudder ran through his body at the bitterness. "I'm sorry that I only expected the worst of you." As he had stated before, no one would fault Wilson for thinking along this path but he still hated himself for doubting his best friend like this. And everything just because...

 

"Someone I perceived as a friend in High School outed me to all of my peers. It was the worst year of my life."

 

Wilson didn't meet House's eyes although he felt them burning into the side of his skull. He had needed his friend to know why he had been ready to jump to the worst possible assumptions but he didn't want to see pity in his friend's eyes.

 

"That's why you said it."

 

The voice of his friend sounded hoarse as if he was fighting back tears but Wilson couldn't bring himself to check for any moisture in the blue depths. He wasn't sure if it would break him completely if he found his friend's eyes wet or if it would be worse if they were dry. He wasn't sure of much anymore. Still he understood to which words House was referring although he didn't feel like talking about how he had admitted that he would rather end his life than face the bullying of his peers - again.

 

"I said a great many things." Wilson tried for a light tone and even forced a dry chuckle past his lips. "I didn't want to disgust you by offering you... sex, by the way. I was desperate." Another chuckle that Wilson barely kept from turning into a sob as he realised how vulnerable these words made him. House could easily agree with him and tell him that Wilson was right and that he was disgusted by the mere notion of sleeping with him. Not that Wilson had ever had any hope of becoming his friend's lover but... a man could dream. And if House shattered these dreams now then... Wilson didn't know if he could ever meet his friend's eyes again.

 

"You're right." Wilson flinched at the monotone voice next to him. "I was repulsed when you offered me to fuck you."

 

"I see." His throat constricted painfully as he breathed past the pain and the lump of tears that seemed to choke him. "I need to do my rounds so if you..."

 

Wilson stumbled to his feet - not sure if his legs would even hold him - but was stopped in his attempt to escape as hand grabbed his wrist.

 

"House, please." Wilson didn't care that he was begging again but he needed to get away before he broke down once more. "I get that you won't out me and that we are still friends although you find my body repulsive. It's fine. It get it... I..."

 

"You are such an idiot."

 

An exasperated sigh - a well-known sound - was huffed out next to him before House got to his feet. "Look at me, Wilson."

 

He turned towards the voice but didn't look up at his friend. Couldn't House leave him alone for half an hour to give him the chance to get himself back together before he made demands of him again?

 

"James, please." 

 

His head snapped up at the use of his first name and he almost stumbled back under the weight of his friend's gaze that held more feelings than Wilson had ever thought possible. Self-loathing, insecurity, understanding, hesitance, wary amusement and... resolve.

 

"Feel free to hit me if you want to."

 

"What..."

 

Wilson didn't get to voice either question nor protest as insistent lips closed over his in a gentle, but determined kiss. Stubble scratched his skin as House's mouth moved against his but before Wilson could return the kiss his friend withdrew.

 

"I could never be repulsed by you or your body," House murmured in a softer voice than Wilson had ever heard. "I was repulsed by the idea of taking you against your will, of being such a terrible friend that you would consider me cruel enough to... rape you."

 

The last words were only rasped out as the strong voice of his friend broke and a shudder ran through his body. "I have wanted you for a long time. Not just as a fuck-buddy but... as a lover." The hand that wasn't holding Wilson's clenched at House's side. It was obvious how much this confession cost him but Wilson couldn't have stopped him if he wanted. His heart was racing again but this time with hope and longing and he only prayed that he wouldn't collapse before he could hear his friend out.

 

"I love you, James." House grinded his teeth so hard that Wilson feared they would split. "I understand if you don't want me because well..." A bitter smile turned his friend's lips upwards to form an ugly grimace. "I am a man. Worse even I'm a heartless, manipulative bastard who hurt you more often than anyone can count and I... just wanted you to know how much you mean to me."

 

House visibly deflated after his little speech came to an end and averted his eyes. He looked like he expected Wilson to laugh at him. Mock him for his sappy love confession and throw him out of his office. Nothing could be further from the truth.

 

"Greg..."

 

This time, it was Wilson who crossed the space between them and stole a kiss from downturned lips. The contact was tender and soft, fueled by longing and love and Wilson could have stayed like this for hours - just feeling and tasting his friend - but he forced himself to break the kiss.

 

"I love you, too. I have for a long time."

 

They stared at each other. Happiness was mirrored in both their eyes and then... House shook his head. "You are overtired and emotionally exhausted. You can't make such decisions right now. You..."

 

"Yes, I can." Wilson placed a firm kiss on his friend's lips again. He wouldn't allow House to talk down what they had just found. "I need this. I need you... and I want you."

 

Cautious joy filled blue eyes but House still looked skeptical. "How do I know that you don't change your mind tomorrow? That it wasn't just a flux or some version of the Stockholm syndrome or... 

 

Wilson interrupted House's painful doubts with a firm kiss - he should have figured out sooner that this was the way to shut his friend up. "I love you. I will tell you every day if you need to hear it, just please..."

 

The doubt finally melted away as blue eyes softened and their lips found each other's again. This time it took longer until they parted and finally met each other's gaze with a smile.

 

"Every day," House reminded him as he pressed their foreheads together and Wilson didn't fight the huge smile that made him look like a lunatic as he agreed. "Every day."


End file.
